Laughing Goddess Emerges

Truth be told, ladies…I just ended up here…

I made a commitment a couple of New Years’ back.  In fact, it was the same year I lost everything, including my mind.

I had to sit in a dark, unheated apartment alone for New Year’s Eve, unexpectedly–all of it.  Single and in desperate-mode, trying to force things to work with my ex, realizing the stark distance between us that I couldn’t see without the echoing chill of that empty apartment grating in my ears.

And that was before I lost everything.

After plenty o’tantrum, I decided to make ritual of it.

Something felt different about this year.  I decided instead of writing intentions, I would burn every intention I’d ever written. I had a jar of them, in fact.  I burned them all and buried the ashes in the ice-hard soil in front of my home.  Years of wishes and prayers collected on New Moons and other cycle initiations along the way, scorched and sewn into The Great Belly.  I thanked them but let them know I released them all.

I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and with only ONE commitment in my heart for the new cycle:

I COMMIT TO MAKE THE SPACE.

That’s it.  I commit to make the space to meditate.  To check in with me.  To be present with me.  To care for me.   

And whatever happens from there, happens.  No intentions.  No resolutions.  No great plans.

I wrote this with my fingers in the steamy bathroom mirror that first morning of 2015:

I COMMIT TO MAKE THE SPACE.

I have discovered since then, the great power of living this balance of commitment to Alignment and Surrender to what shows up.  

First, once you make the space, the rest unfolds.  There is never a need to figure anything out, never a need to fix anything.  Just make the space.  To listen.  To feel.  To be here.  Breathe.  In.  Now out.  This is all we need.  

Then we listen.

But life happens, this we know.  Sometimes it can feel like it happens before we catch up with it.  When we find ourselves losing our way, feeling like we’re going astray (we never are), needing to reset, etc, again: commit to make the space.  Go back to zero if need be.  Just sit with yourself.  Trust this space.  Know that from this space there are infinite pivot points and here, we have access to them all.  You don’t need any hows.  Just start here:  

I COMMIT TO MAKE THE SPACE.

This little gem can help us master the delicate dance of Surrendering to Synchronicity.  That is, not defining our future, which is limiting, but moving forward based on the opportunities which align with our experience as we move in passion and integrity.  This is the path of least resistance, and we will find far greater opportunities, resources, capabilities, and levels of abundance when we Surrender in this way.

As we follow these synchronicities, the Divine Red Carpet rolls out before us.  We don’t need to roll it out.  We don’t need to tell it where to go.  We just walk.  In full confidence that the Carpet will continue to roll out.  And as we sink into this Trust, our strut grows deeper along with our possibilities, our potential, and our power.

And this is how I ended up here today, not quite three years later.

In between then and now, I lost everything I knew, including my own sanity…and then suddenly found myself reset exactly in the middle of everything I had ever dreamed, my “perfect” life.  (But that’s a story for another time…)

I realized everything I felt as pain that year was part of the “Rupture” I asked for when I planted those intentions into the ground.  They were a bomb whose denotation blasted over the course of the year, and they blew out everything that was caked in between my conscious self-image and my innate self-image–my living awareness of who I really am.

And to pull it all together…so orchestral, as a magical life often is, as I spoke publicly in this natural voice, louder and stronger over time, even as I became more and more WEIRD (counter-culture), people and opportunities were drawn to me: my synchronicities.  Women asked for my mentorship.  Money arranged itself so that I could quit my job and serve them full time.  Friends offered work trades that provided me with thousands of dollars of services I wouldn’t have otherwise invested in to help me open up my practice.  I found new and dormant talents in myself that help me enhance the Services I can provide and how I can provide them… 

Things I could never have planned for consciously.

I am here because this is the way I’ve been shown to Serve you, to Serve my family, and to Serve the Collective.  This is where I ended up on the other side of Surrender.

As I learned to Listen in this space, I was shown that I am here to Remember who we are beyond our social and parental conditioning, and to Remind us of Ubuntu, the awareness that everything in existence is part of One Body, one living organism.  This is what is revealed to me as I cultivate Sensual Fluency.

You, too, will Remember your truth as you develop Sensual Fluency, mastery of the language of the senses; it is your bridge back to who you really are.

Laughing Goddess is designed to help you reunite with your innate self through your body, your temporary self, so that you may see it is the map, the portal, and the knowledge-well of your infinite self.

Do you know who you are?

Most of us cannot answer this without reflexively listing off our social roles and responsibilities.  But we are much more than that.  We are more than our upbringing, the things we learned as children, consciously or unconsciously.  We are more than the beliefs of our time, our country, and our religious community.  We are more than the things that happen or happened to us.

As I tell my son, only You are You.  The rest is just your platform.  😉

Laughing Goddess is designed for those Wild Women ready to brave the unwritten–the juicy, unpredictable, untamed, ravenous, power of our deeper Womanselves–because here is our Magic–our sovereignty, our Joy, and our Truth!

I’m here because I get off on this Work and it fulfills my self-gratifying fantasies of helping to take the planet back from the 1%…maybe even while donning a fuchsia cape and a crown of quartz…

But essentially, I’m here because I love you.  I love humans.  I love Life.  I love me.  I want us to thrive.  And as I believe Women are the Way to restore balance to the planet, I lend my life to the task of helping to make it so…because that’s what my body tells me to do.

Where would your body take you?

 

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